Bird That Can Read Everyone’s Thoughts Welcomed As Keynote Speaker Of Psychedelics Conference
PORTLAND, OR—Closing out a highly anticipated series of lectures, talks, and panels on the topic of hallucinogenic drugs in contemporary society, the Portland Psychedelic Science Conference’s keynote address was delivered…
Teenage Boys Explain Why They Love Andrew Tate
Even after his arrest for sex-trafficking in Romania, many teenage boys are still proud to call Andrew Tate a role model. The Onion asked adolescent males why they look up…
New Uber Feature Lets User Remotely Detonate Ride Running Late
SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to bring more reliability to their ride-sharing services, Uber reportedly unveiled a new feature this week that lets users remotely detonate a ride that is running…
Deputies Accused Of Abusing Black Men Are Fired By Mississippi Sheriff Amid Federal Probe
All five Mississippi deputy sheriffs accused of beating and sexually assaulting two Black men before shooting one of them in the mouth have been fired.
These Asian Drag Queens Did Not Come To Play (Or Be Tokenized)
“Yes, there’s the hair, the nails, the clothes and that’s all glamorous, but those are all add-ons,” said 27-year-old Snix. “ really comes within yourself.”
Arizona Elections Official Quits, Accusing Coworkers Of Bending To ‘Faction’ Of GOP
“Clearly, politics are the value this administration desires in a place where politics have no place: elections administration,” Geraldine Roll wrote in a fiery letter.
Ex-Trump Adviser Reveals ‘Profound Sense Of Danger’ In New Revelation
John Bolton also says offering Trump a pardon should disqualify anyone from the presidency.
Ex-Federal Prosecutor Explains Why Trump’s ‘Bravado’ Defense Is Truly ‘Terrible’
“If your best defense is ‘bravado,’ in essence you’re saying ‘my defense is that I was lying,'” former U.S. Attorney Joyce Vance said.
Jimmy Kimmel Has Hilarious Theory For Robert F. Kennedy Jr’s Weird Campaign
The late-night host says there’s “a good possibility” this explains everything.